San Juan Mountains

San Juan Mountains
San Juan Mountains: Grenadier Range

Monday, March 21, 2016

The Difference Between Left and Right

If you read the title line for this post you might be thinking I am about to wax philosophical about the differences between the political left and the political right.  The political left consists of those worshipers of the State who believe it primarily exists to take money from the top 49% of the income population and give it to the lower 51% of the income population, in exchange for a vote.  The political right consists of those worshipers of the State who believe it primarily exists to wage wars of empire expansion all around the globe.  Although people like to claim there are significant differences between the two groups they are united in their common love for the State/Beast.  I consider them to be two sides of the same coin.  But that, however, is not what today's post is about.
A friend of mine told me a story yesterday about something that happened to him on his recent visit to Japan.  He was touring a temple or castle of some sort and there was a sign, written in English, Japanese, Chinese and Korean, informing visitors to stay to the right as they walked up the pathway to the top.  He took a photograph showing everyone going up the left side.  Now as I understand it, only the Brits and their associated cultural groups practice left side dominance.  Everyone else in the universe agrees that people should confine themselves to the right side of the path or road as they make forward progress.  Given the almost universal acceptance of the principle of right side dominance, why do so many people ignore it?
I spent the last week in Phoenix, visiting some summits and watching the ladies of the LPGA play a tournament quite literally just outside the backyard of the home where I was staying.  During the course of the week I was once again impressed by the fact that Phoenix area Yuppies put Denver area Yuppies to shame.  Phoenix area Yuppies are far more obsessive, far more driven, far more prone to drive aggressively and rage me as I am driving cautiously along and far more likely to behave like the selfish jerks they are.  I had the displeasure of witnessing one Yuppie confrontation that left me flabbergasted.  My rental car was low on gas so I made the couple of miles trip to the local gas station for a fill-up.  I had to make a left turn to get into the gas station which meant I had to get in the left hand lane of a four lane road to make the turn into the gas station.  The speed limit on that stretch of road is 45 mph.  I was doing 70 mph, being passed by numerous Yuppies on the right side, and arrived at the station in short order. 
While I was filling up my gas tank I overheard, it was impossible not to, an argument between two Yuppies.  A Yuppie woman in her BMW was yelling at a Yuppie man in his Lexus.  She exclaimed, "You were driving 80 mph in a 35 mph zone!"  He yelled something back at her that I could not discern.  She then upped the ante by yelling, "You were doing 80 in a 35 zone and you could have killed my child!"  He mumbled something back at her and she finished her diatribe by saying, "You are a class act, aren't you buddy?"  I could make out his response this time as he said, "Yes I am lady."  Don't you just love Yuppies?
One of the best examples of their selfishness took place multiple times as I entered and exited various buildings during the course of the week.  When I approach a double-door, living in a land with right side dominance, I make it a practice to go in the right side door, leaving the left side door unmolested so anyone wishing to come out is free to do so.  It seems like a rational arrangement to me as it maximizes traffic flow and intuitively fits into my conception of the way things should run in this world.
Now maybe this has happened to you before.  I had numerous experiences where I approached the right side door and noticed that someone was on the inside preparing to come out.  I moved far to the right so as not to impede their progress, or the progress of their door as they opened it, so that all would go smoothly and efficiently.  As I opened the door however, the people standing inside made no effort to open their right side door but, quite to my surprise and annoyance, they would immediately dart out the door I had opened, as if I was their personal doorman.  Sometimes they would acknowledge that I had held the door for them but most of the time they were Yuppies with their eyes glued to their PEDs (Personal Electronic Devices) and totally oblivious to the world around them.  I was incensed and outraged at their behavior.
Today's blog post is devoted to Yuppies around the country.  Now hear this....I am not your personal doorman.  I derive no pleasure opening doors for you when you are quite capable of opening your own doors.  I experience great displeasure when you violate the inviolable principle of right side progress by taking the easy route provided by me on your left side.  Figure out the difference between the right and the left and stick to the right.  Mr. and Ms. Yuppie, I know this is impossible to believe, but the world does not revolve around you.  Unless you have hired someone to be your personal servant, those of us who live in this same world with you are not here to serve you.  I realize no Yuppie will ever read this blog post but I feel much better now.  Thank you for allowing me to vent my outrage.


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