San Juan Mountains

San Juan Mountains
San Juan Mountains: Grenadier Range

Monday, January 18, 2016

Orthorexia...The Latest Yuppie Disease

There is a new mental illness on the block and it is desperately seeking inclusion on the list of officially approved mental illnesses.  The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, or DSM-5 as it is shortened, is the government approved list of mental illnesses we can all potentially contract.  Being listed on the DSM-5 is very important because apart from that listing a person suffering from a mental illness is forced to pay the bills for his talk therapy out of his own pocket.  Once a mental illness is put on the list that same mentally ill person, thanks to Obamacare, can force the taxpayers (the top 49% of the income population) to pay the costs associated with sitting in a room and talking to a government approved "therapist", whatever that is.  If only I could be cured of the cold bug I just contracted by sitting down and talking to a government agent.  Of course I realize that the process of being cured would take a very long time and I must really want to be healed or I will never get better.  
Mental illnesses have always fascinated me.  I don't know how and where am I going to contract my next one.  I have had so many over the years that I can't even recall what they all were.  That is probably a mental illness itself.  What I do know is that nobody has ever contracted a mental illness after contact with a pathogen like a virus, a bacterium, a fungus or a parasite.  Nobody has ever caught a mental illness from someone else who was mentally ill.  Nobody has ever recovered from a mental illness by taking an antibiotic or an antiviral medication.  As far as I am aware, nobody has ever undergone surgery to correct a mental illness. Yet despite all of this I heard on NPR the other day that in any given year one out of every five citizens in the Socialist Democracy of Amerika will contract a mental illness.  I would sure like to know where all that illness is coming from.  I could make a billion dollars finding out where it is coming from and putting a stop to it at the source.  The Nobel Peace Prize in Medicine will certainly be awarded to the first person who can discover where mental illnesses come from.
I had just sat down at the breakfast table last Saturday when I opened my newspaper and nearly gagged on my Sausage McMuffin.  There, on the front page of the "Lifestyle" section, was the headline, "Orthorexia:  What this eating disorder is and why its easily misunderstood."  Well that got my attention.  Given the fact that I was gagging on my McMuffin I immediately wondered if I had contracted this new eating disorder.  Once my panic attack subsided I came to realize that it disturbs me greatly anytime anything or anybody is misunderstood.  Bernie Sanders and I both agree that every person and every mental illness has a civil right to be understood.  So I settled down, took a sip of coffee and proceeded to inform myself about this terrible new illness that is sweeping the country.
The newspaper story went on for quite a while, covering two pages of the paper, and never defined what orthorexia is.  I was looking for a  nice quotation to put into this blog that would define the new mental illness for you but nobody took the time to actually define what orthorexia is.  That could certainly be a substantial hurdle to overcome if sufferers want to be listed on the DSM-5, don't you think?  Even though the disease is never defined, I was able to get the general idea of what it is by reading about a "life coach" named Maddy Moon, who lives in the People's Republic of Boulder, and who is an advocate for getting orthorexia included on the DSM-5. 
A "life coach," in case you are not aware, is someone who takes money from Yuppies in exchange for affirming their lifestyles.  I had never heard of the profession prior to a couple of years ago when a person who used to be my friend decided to take up the career.  I looked into it only to discover that another good name for those who enter the profession of life coach is charlatan or crack-pot.  Yuppies are intensely insecure people who need others around them to tell them they are pretty, strong, healthy and extreme-to-the-max dude.  They need people they can send their Go-Pro videos to who will actually watch them and reinforce their opinions of themselves that they are extreme athletes, and downright handsome to boot.  Yuppies are also rich and have money to burn.  A small group of people jumped into the Yuppie culture to exploit the situation, calling themselves "life coaches" and charging fees to give the Yuppies precisely what they wanted.  Hey, it is a free market.  As stupid as I believe it all is they are free to do what they want.
Maddy Moon is a life coach who helps Yuppies drink Michelob Ultra and be all they can be.  A huge part of being a Yuppie these days is healthy eating and that brings me back to orthorexia.  Orthorexia, if I might provide a definition for this new disease, is that condition Yuppies find themselves in as they obsess over the food they are eating in order to guarantee they never eat anything their peers have labeled to be unhealthy.  That means they will only eat organic, non genetically modified, non gluten containing, non harmful to butterflies and the Amazonian rain forest foods.  It takes a lot of energy to eat only the right foods all the time.  Those who go overboard in the effort to do so are, according to Moon, mentally ill.
Mood is producing a series of videos to promote her idea that orthorexia should be a government approved disease.  She says, "You would not roll your eyes at someone that said that they have anorexia or bulimia, so why roll your eyes at someone who says they have orthorexia?  For those of you who say orthorexia's not real, that it is not a real thing, get over it.  It is real."  Well there it is.  A life coach from Boulder has pronounced the behavior of Yuppies as they obsess over the healthy foods that they eat to be a mental illness. What more evidence do you need?  Incidentally, I roll my eyes when someone tells me they have anorexia and bulimia.  Those are behavioral choices, not illnesses.  In the same way, orthorexia is a behavioral choice, not an illness.
I have two verses from the Bible for you today.  The first one is Romans 1: 18-19 which says, "For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, because that which is known about God is evident within them; for God made it evident to them."  This verse tells us that all men, including those who suffer from orthorexia, use their minds to actively suppress their innate knowledge of God's existence and His moral claim upon their lives.  Throughout most of human history most people were too busy scrounging for their next meal to have time to contemplate the fact that they are suppressing what they know about God.  These days, in the first world in which we live where Yuppies have abundant supplies of both time and money, people have to come up with new and creative ways to suppress their innate knowledge of God and His claim upon their lives.  Orthorexia is a classic example of how to suppress the knowledge of God by obsessing on food.  Never again does a Yuppie have to be alone with his own thoughts.  Obsessing on eating all the right foods quite effectively pushes all self-awareness of suppression of the truth right out the proverbial window. 
The second verse comes from I Corinthians 6: 12-13.  It says, "All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable.  All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything.  Food is for the stomach, and the stomach is for food'; but God will do away with both of them."  Yuppies and their ilk who obsess on food (including anorexics, compulsive over eaters, bulimics, and orthorexics) all suffer from the same condition.  They have all been mastered by food in one way or another.  Why have they been mastered by food?  Because they made the voluntary decision to obsess on food in order to avoid having to think about the spiritual truths that surround them.  Only a nation filled with a super abundance of food and free time could come up with this list of food related mental illnesses.  Only a nation that hates the God of the Bible with a passion would take these sinners and label them as mentally ill and, thus, not responsible for their actions.  Only a nation that worships the therapeutic state would create an entire pantheon of phantom mental illnesses which must be treated by government approved talk therapists.  Only an envy-filled population of socialists who believe in the religion of democracy would demand that those therapists be paid for their bogus services by the taxpayers.  And only a first world nation with way too much time on its hands could cook up so many fake illnesses to allow it to be diverted from the things that really matter in life.  Orthorexia is just the latest example of the demented state of being that characterizes so many sheeple in this sad and immoral land. 


  1. Welshy,

    Mata, my hairy little wife, believes that I suffer from orthorexia. That is because I eat only seven different foods: pizza, Little Debbie Swiss Rolls, Chiquita bananas, Cocoa Puffs, Dole bananas, chocolate cake and Gerber creamed bananas (helps the system “move along”). She doesn't understand that I'm a simple chimp with simple tastes, and that I'm quite satisfied with my diet.

    Actually, Mata doesn't say I have "orthorexia"; she says I'm a "picky eater". The name orthorexia makes no sense. The name is derived from "or" (meaning one of multiple possible choices), "thor" (meaning torso, from which "thorax" gets its name), "ex" (meaning "former", such as in "she's my ex wench"), and "ia" (which is a hillbilly corruption of the first two letters of "e-i-e-i-o"). Thus, the proper definition of orthorexia is “a former person whose torso or something else had a farm.” Simply put, whoever created that word is an imbecile.

    A.P.E. agent

    1. Mr. Link:
      Your diet sounds wonderful to me. Personally I subscribe to the theory that one should have a daily serving of something from each of the five primary food groups. Those groups are: 1) The Crunchy Group (potato chips usually), 2) The Dead Animal Group (hamburger or hot dog), 3) The Caffeine Group (Coke of coffee), 4) the Cake Group (cake or donut), and 5) The Whiskey Group (your choice of bourbon or scotch). Hence, I call my diet the Cake & Whiskey diet. I am not dead yet.
      I must dispute your interpretation of 'orthorexia.' Everyone knows "ortho" is a shoe. Rex is a King and "ia" is the feminine form of King. Hence, 'orthorexia' means the Queen of the Shoes. I believe my wife holds that title presently.

    2. Welshy,

      Eureka! You just cleared up some confusion I've had since my childhood. When I was saddle high to a tricycle I'd chew on a coconut for hours, which resulted in my teeth getting all crooked. My parents took me to an orthodontist, Dr. David Sole, who inflicted pain upon me for years and never did straighten my teeth. Now I realize that my parents really messed up ... they took me to a shoe doctor instead of a teeth doctor!!! That would also explain why Dr. Sole would hold my mouth open with a shoe horn.


  2. This comment has been removed by the author.