San Juan Mountains

San Juan Mountains
San Juan Mountains: Grenadier Range

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Texters Should Be Punished

I have noticed a dramatic change in my life circumstances over the past summer.  I have seen things that I never thought or expected to see in my lifetime.  A case of mass delusion has overtaken the citizens of the Socialist Democracy of Amerika and the entire event is tied to the use of personal electronic devices (PEDs) and the practice of texting.  Let me give you some examples:
  • Two cyclists that I am aware of have been killed while riding along Colorado roadways this past summer.  To be more accurate, since many more than two cyclists have been killed while riding along the road this summer, two cyclists have been killed as a direct result of a driver wandering off the road and crushing them while attempting to text while driving.
  • Two motorcyclists that I am aware of, they may be many more, were killed over the Labor Day weekend as a direct result of an air-headed teenager girl wandering across the center line of a mountain highway and running directly into them.  I spoke to a man who was first on the scene and he said it was one of the most gruesome things he has ever seen in his life.  His description of the carnage haunts me as I write this.
  • I was riding my bike one morning when I witnessed an air-headed teenage boy hop the curb while driving his parent's SUV.  He ran up onto the grass and then jerked the car back into the roadway.  I noticed that he had his head down, apparently texting, just prior to hopping the curb.  I was thankful that he was going the other direction on the roadway from me.
  • I was driving to Dunkin Donuts one morning, to get my daily fix of Munchkins, when I saw a middle-aged woman in an SUV suddenly swerve off the road and crash into a tree.  She jumped out of the car unharmed, still holding her PED that she had been using to send or receive a text just prior to her one car accident.
  • I have noticed an inordinate increase in the number of instances in which a traffic light will turn from red to green but the people in front of me do not proceed forward.  Now I am not one of those Yuppies who waits for one milli-second prior to honking my horn  and waving my arms when a driver does not immediately react to a changing traffic signal.  Instead I prefer to just sit there and amusingly watch to see how much time will pass before the person ahead of me figures it out.  It is not unusual for me to miss an green light because the person ahead of me is slow to realize that the light has turned green.  This summer, however, something has changed.  I had one day when I was third in line at a traffic light with two lanes of traffic.  In other words, there were two cars ahead of me in my lane and another two cars ahead of the car beside me in the other lane.  The light changed and nobody moved.  I quickly looked around and the drivers of all four cars ahead of me, plus the one beside me, were looking down into their laps, giving or receiving text messages.  I didn't notice if the people behind me were texting as well but none of them honked their horns.  The light changed back and nobody got though the intersection on that cycle.  
  • My wife was driving around town with a relative of hers when she mentioned how many people are not proceeding forward when a light turns green these days.  She asked the relative if she had noticed the phenomenon.  The relative declared that she had not.  At the next red light she received and sent a text message.  While doing so the light turned green and she only moved forward when the people behind her began to honk their horns.  She did not get the joke.
Texting is out of control.  People are dying as a result of texting.  Millions of people are being seriously inconvenienced as a result of texting.  So what should be done about it?  Absolutely nothing.  The government should not make any more laws about texting and driving.  I believe there are already several worthless laws on the books and they are clearly not working.  Making a new law does not fix a behavioral problem.  We do not need groups like "Mothers Against Texting" or "Raving Homosexuals Who Hate Texting" to organize and lobby the government for new laws against texting.  We don't need a new 10 Step program for PED addiction and the government should not add PED addiction to the list of mental illnesses people alleged suffer from.  There is one, and only one, thing that needs to be done about the current rash of murders, accidents, property damage and time stealing that is the direct result of air-headed drivers being addicted to their PEDs.  Texters should be punished for their sins/crimes.
You are free to text.  You are free to use your PED.  As far as I am concerned you can read a book, write a novel, eat a pizza, or watch a movie while you are driving down the street.  But if, as a direct result of your negligence, you end up killing someone or doing damage to someone's property you should be held liable for your actions.  Those who kill people as a result of PED negligence should be publicly executed as the murderers they are.  Those who damage the property of others as a result of their PED negligence should be forced to pay for the damages.  I don't believe it would take too many public executions before air-headed PED users would figure it out and stop using their PEDs while they are driving down the road.  Public executions have a way of creating some pretty powerful incentives for good behavior.
Of course, my suggestion will never gain traction.  My position is based upon biblical law and is the opinion of the God of the Bible about these matters.  The Socialist Democracy of Amerika is a God-hating, post-Christian society.  As a result, we are guaranteed that many more people will die due to the use of PEDs by air-headed drivers who are so addicted to their PEDs they are incapable of putting them down while doing a potentially life threatening activity. 

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