San Juan Mountains

San Juan Mountains
San Juan Mountains: Grenadier Range

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

I Just Found Out I Am Transracial!

Have you been following the story about the very white woman who has been pretending to be black for so long she was able to rise to the position of Chapter Director of the NAACP in Spokane?  She was outed by her parents who described her as "Caucasian by birth, with Czech, Swedish, German and a trace of Native American ancestry."  Her name is Rachel Dolezal and she is my newest hero, or heroine, or human being I admire, or whatever it is you call people you respect in these non-sexist days.
Rachel apparently spends a lot of time in tanning booths in order to get her skin as dark as possible.  She was born blond but she colored (I am not using that term in a racial fashion so relax) her hair and then frizzed it (once again, I am not a racist).  Here is her picture:

the internet this morning is the bizarre story of Rachel Dolezal ...

I was watching the nightly news last night when a report came on about her stepping down as Chapter Director.  She issued a statement and granted an interview in which she said that she has always identified with black people.  As proof of her condition she offered up the story that as a little girl she would pick the black Crayon over the pink one.  She claims to have raised two black children but somebody probably ought to check that story out.  But the most significant part of the interview was when she had to defend herself in light of a fairly serious legal charge.  Let me tell  you about it.
In 2002 Rachel filed a lawsuit against Brown university for discriminating against her because she is white.  Here is what the Washington Post reported about the incident, "Dolezal’s lawsuit against Howard, a historically black university, alleged that the university denied her a teaching assistant job, further employment and a scholarship because she was white. The lawsuit also claimed that Professor Alfred Smith, chair of the Art Department, specifically kept Dolezal from serving as a teaching assistant one semester and removed some of her artwork from a student exhibition because of racial prejudice."  She ended up losing the lawsuit and was forced to pay several thousand dollars in legal fees. Maybe that is when it occurred to her that if you can't beat them you might as well join them.  The next thing we know Rachel is black.
This is what Rachel looked like before she turned black:


Rachel has declared that she so identifies with black people that she actually is one of them.  During the interview mentioned above she finally came out and admitted what I believe we all had already figured out....she is transracial!  Hallelujah!  We have another category of transpeople to worship every time they decide to come out to us.  Rachel will no doubt be the first of a long list of Hollywood celebrities and professional athletes who will now be emboldened to come out and declare their transracialness.  No longer will white basketball players have to hide the fact that they can jump.  They can now proudly declare their blackness.  No longer will black golfers have to pretend to be black.  They can proudly declare that they are white and that their ancestors belonged to the country club while Jefferson still owned slaves.  What a brave new world we are about to enter.
You may wonder why I describe Rachel as my hero.  I guess it is time to admit it.  Sometimes, very rarely actually, but on occasion, when the mood strikes me and I can benefit financially from it, I become a Scot.  My features are close enough to those of the Scots that I can pass for one if I need to.  I can eat haggis with the best of them and Scotch whiskey saturated with peat is easy for me to sip.  Up until now I thought I was just being disingenuous and exploiting a situation for my own financial gain.  Now I realize that I have a serious condition that the world must accommodate.  I am transracial and proud of it!


  1. Dear Welshy,

    Rachel's story is entirely believable. There is a "trans-species" chimp in my troop who insists he is an orangutan. I've tried to tell him that since he is a member of my troop he can't be an orangutan, because orangutans live in congresses, not troops. He simply replies that a congress is for asses, not for orangutans.

    My hairy, little wife, Mata, sometimes thinks I'm trans-specied. At least I assume she does because she calls me a fat, lazy, baboon when I forget to take our pile of banana peels out to the garbage.


    1. Mr. Link:
      Wow! I am honored to receive two updates from the jungle this week. Thanks for keeping me in the link.
      Your "trans-events" are spectacular. They reminded me of a trans-event I once experienced. One day I went skiing in the morning and played a round of golf in the afternoon. I concluded that I was transported!