Personal discipline can be expressed in an individual's body weight. Now I have to tread carefully here since there are several groups of people who have high body weights who do not suffer from a lack of personal discipline. Those groups include those with glandular problems, those with a low metabolism and those who are mentally ill and forced by their various mental diseases to eat against their will. Gaining or losing weight is a relatively simple concept to understand. Over the course of a day you will burn a certain number of calories. Over that same day you will ingest a certain number of calories. Those who burn more than they consume lose weight. Those who consume more than they burn will gain weight. It really is that simple, except for members of those three categories I already mentioned.
People with glandular problems find that their glands cause the 100 calories they consume each day to somehow turn into something more like 3-4000 calories. That is why they can say that they didn't eat at all but still managed to gain weight. A similar thing happens to those with a low metabolism. These folks only burn about 100 calories a day, no matter how active they are. They could run a marathon and still their bodies would only consume a couple of hundred calories. And, of course, those who have mental illnesses that cause them to gain weight are never personally responsible for the fact they are overweight.
Now that we have eliminated the three groups that are fat because of reasons other than a lack of personal discipline, allow me to come to my point. A group of people did a survey that compared a person's profession with his body mass index. Many people were tested and the results were tabulated. The conclusions derived from the survey about the five fattest and the five leanest professional classes are startling. Since I believe that being overweight is generally a sign of a lack of personal discipline I can conclude that those in the five highest body mass index professions are the least disciplined groups of people in the SDA. On the other hand, those in the five lowest body mass index groups are the most disciplined groups of people in the SDA. So, without further ado, I give you the five most disciplined groups of people in the Socialist Democracy of Amerika:
- Economists, scientists and psychologists. Those who conducted the study grouped together various professions that were very close to one another in body mass index. That is why you see more than one profession listed in the number one slot. The fact that scientists are the most disciplined group of people in the SDA does not surprise me. Nuclear particle scientists can spend an entire career in search of one elusive sub-atomic particle. They are so obsessively looking for that particle they have no time to eat. No wonder they are so skinny. On the other hand, I would need a psychologist to figure out why psychologists are so disciplined. As an arm-chair economist with a moderate body mass index myself, I can heartily agree that economists are highly disciplined individuals.
- Artists, actors, athletes and reporters. Why do all these left brained people show up in the second most disciplined group of people in the land? Since most all of the members of those four groups are also bleeding heart liberals who love government it does not aid the conservative cause to confess that they could actually be more disciplined than the conservatives. I can't believe that those people are actually disciplined so I choose to believe that they all suffer from the mental illness of obsessive compulsive disorder. That means they can have a low body mass index and still be personally irresponsible. I like that.
- Physicians, dentists and nurses. This category surprises me a little bit since it seems as if most doctors and nurses are really overweight. Maybe it is just the physicians and nurses that I visit who are fat. I am always amused when I get a lecture about my eating habits from a doctor who is both younger and heavier than I am. On the other hand, it does take a lot of personal discipline to prepare for any of those careers so kudos to them.
- Cooks, bartenders and waiters. Now that comes as a shock, does it not? I am trying to figure out how the people in these professions could have so much discipline and still be in these professions. Maybe it is true that all aspiring artists, actors and writers have to pay their bills by working as service personnel in restaurants.
- Janitors, maids and landscapers. Ah....finally I get to my profession. I thoroughly expected janitors to make the top five list of most disciplined groups of people. Despite our shiftless appearance and carefree demeanor, we janitors are an ambitious lot who are committed to personal betterment and self empowerment, whatever that means. What cannot be denied however is that we are a pretty disciplined group of people. It takes an extraordinary amount of discipline to dedicate oneself to a lifetime of service cleaning up the messes of others.
5. Bus drivers, truckers and garbage collectors. No surprises here. Any career that involves
sitting on one's bum for eight hours a day while stuffing Little Debbie snack cakes into
the mouth will inevitably result in a large increase to the body mass index.
4. Architects and engineers. This is a bit surprising to me. I hold engineers in high esteem.
Without the services of engineers we would have very little in the way of technological
advancement in the world today. The handful of engineers I have known were highly
disciplined people. They had to be to succeed in their careers. So maybe this is an
exception to the rule. Maybe engineers are the fourth most fat group in the SDA because
they are so dedicated to their work they have no time to eat or exercise.
3. Home health professionals and massage therapists. How ironic it is that those who travel
to our homes to advise us on healthy living end up being the third most fat group of people
in the country. And what is it with massage therapists? How can they be so overweight?
I suspect that if the body mass index was taken exclusively from information derived from
the fingers we would discover that massage therapists are the skinniest people in the
2. Social workers and pastors. I don't know much about social workers. Thankfully I have
never had any dealings with them so I am unable to make any snide remarks about how
undisciplined they are. I have had lots of experience with pastors and this criticism is spot
on. Christians in general, and pastors in particular, are undisciplined brutes who love to
eat. I think that so many pastors are overweight because they deny themselves other
physical and sensual pleasures in life. After all of that denial they have to do something
to experience pleasurable physical sensations so they eat. Of course the fact that
overeating is the sin of gluttony is lost on them.
1. Cops and firemen. This is the only reason I wrote this post today. When I read the article
that declared doughnut eating cops and firemen to be the most overweight group in the
SDA I just had to laugh. Cops and firemen desperately attempt to project an image of
being in superb physical condition. Much is made of the strenuous physical tests they
must pass to become cops and firemen. But when all is said and done, cops and
firemen are the most fat and least disciplined groups of people in the SDA. That does
not surprise me one bit.